a PEACE of my mind: Te Vayas Bien

I landed on JFK’s runway and my brain still couldn’t comprehend what was going on. I was home? Or was home in Piura? This was my first time being back in the States and seeing family and friends in over a year of my service, and I was ready to take the time home to recarga mis pilas.

I’m not going through every detail of my time home, but I’ll give you the overview.

My first day home was filled with a haircut, California Pizza Kitchen (BBQ Chicken Chopped salad and Chicken Lettuce wraps), driving my car around with the windows down and the music blasting. I spent the day with my mom, dad and my grandmother and got ready to head down to Sea Isle CITYYYYY for 4^th of July.

The traffic gods were on my side and I made it down to Sea Isle in about 2 hours the day before 4^th of July.

I can honestly say I have the best friends a girl could ask for. I was greeted upon arrival with hugs that never ended. We hung out on the beach, ate great food, attended happy hours at the OD and wasted time around a blown up kiddie pool. I couldn’t have had a better time down there with everyone and I even got to see Go Go Gadjet play. Overall, my two days down at the beach were exactly what I needed. I will say… I had moments where I needed to slow stuff down. My body wasn’t completely ready to be thrown into crowded bars and a schedule of constant going, but it was still a great time celebrating the 4^th of July in America. ‘MERICUH!

I got back from the beach and I spent most of my days hanging around New Jersey and visiting friends that had recently moved into New York City. I got to see Josh Turner in concert in the VIP section (he is amazing live). I was also lucky enough to have my vacation planned over one of my best friends birthdays. Casey Jane McGuire, I am happy I got to be there for your 23^rd birthday.

Friday came and it was time for the “Free Bri” or the “she made it a year” party. My parents were amazing and had a tent and music at my house. I had an incredible time spending time with my closest family and friends. I was so happy that even my busiest of friends were able to take off work and come see me. It meant more to me than they’ll ever know. This is a big thank-you to everyone that attended the party! I am blessed beyond words to have you all in my life.

The day before I left I went to see Scotty McCreery in concert with my cousin Alexis. If anyone knows me, knows that I am completely in love with him and plan on marrying him one day. My mom was able to get tickets for my birthday to see him when I came home. It was an awesome concert and great ending to my time home. I spent my last day home just hanging around the house with family and friends.

But, being home was weird. There were moments at that I felt like crying and I couldn’t really figure out why. I had been waiting so long to come home and now that I was I didn’t feel normal. I was anxious. It was during my time back in the States that I noticed I really have changed as a person in some ways. For me, when I was home, I was able to fall right back into the place I had been in my relationships and other. It was as if Perú just disappeared, didn’t exist or was a completely different world. That bothered me because this country and its’ people, good and bad, are and always will be a huge part of my life. I watched a Law and Order episode where a war journalist who returns home says “It’s like I’m living in two very different worlds. My body is here, but I’m not sure my mind is yet.” That explains perfectly how I was feeling. By the end of two weeks I was ready to take on Perú again… one more week and I may have never made it back.

However, my time home was more than necessary. It gave me time to breathe, to reflect, to move on and the right mind set to go back. I tell people often that I feel like Perú had beaten me up my first 8^th months in my first site. I was a very jaded volunteer and I found myself really disliking the country before I went home for vacation. I was even debating staying back in the States. I was still carrying around the weight of Tamarindo . Some days I still felt like I had quit on people and other days I was so angry I hated myself for waiting so long to ask for a site change. The anger and bitterness and sadness of it all were ripping me apart. I carried some of that to my new site in Vice. But, thankfully, home was able to heal that. I remember getting on the plane boarding for Lima and thinking it was time to find a way to fall in love with Perú again.

I was ready. I still am. I plan on doing what I can in this last year of service. I plan on building on my relationships with Peruvians and volunteers alike. I’m going to take joy in the slow pace of Viceños, and compartir what I can with my community. I’m ready to REALLY make that fresh start and stop looking back on dark parts. This country is beautiful and its’ people are some of the most generous and loving people I have ever met. The Incan definition of poverty is “without kin”. I think that says a lot about the Peruvian people. People matter. Relationships matter. Taking the time to sit on the front porch of my house conversaring with my host father… matters. Invitaring watermelon to the local bakery woman…matters. Reading to little bright-eyed babies..matters. Holding my namesake and playing make pretend games with Bryanna…matters. My service will matter. Perú and I have had disagreements at times, but I refuse to let that determine how I look back on my 2 years of service.

Here are some pictures from home!